I need to clear my head

I lost my little brother, Marcus on New Years eve morning. It was Dec 31st 2010. This was the year that my son, Joseph was born on Jan 1st 2010. So, in other words, my son came on the first day of the year and my little brother left on the last day of the year. This was a huge mental blow to me. I can’t even grasp the what’s when’s why’s and how’s of this shit. this is something that I’ll be dealing with mentally for a long time. I don’t know the cure for this shit, just that being around family helps…A LOT.